Any blog devotees (whoever you are, because I don’t actually know) will be aware that I have been talking about painting the living room for a while now. The major delay in this project was the sourcing of a suitably dusky yet delicious, low-key pink. If pink is the new black, which it is, then F&B, Little Greene and all the other big players need to address their pink department. It seems the only pinks on offer are too pale, too cold (ie too much blue in the pigment) or too dark. Meanwhile, Fired Earth, which seems to be enjoying notable popularity at present, has some lovely shades on offer. I had originally opted for this chalky “Orchard Pink’, but it’s much lighter than it appears here against the white background.

 The perfect shade for our fairly dark, east-facing living room was “First Date’.

Having chosen the main colour, I was happily deluded that the main work was done. What followed seemed to illustrate rather well the classic sequence of events which i frequently find myself accustomed to, when it comes to decoration. Here’s a rough map…

Stage 1: Commit to taking time off work in order to get things going. This usually takes about 12 months, because who wants to spend their holiday time painting the living room?

Stage 2: Wake up on said day, and launch directly into moving heavy furniture around single-handedly, creating large scratches on the wooden floor but nevertheless succeeding to get everything piled into the centre. Prepare brushes and paint pots hastily and without recourse to protection of flooring, in anticipation of finally seeing the long-awaited colour on the wall. Roughly stir the pot so that only half the pigment reaches the top half.

Stage 3: Realise that a significant amount of preparatory work in fact remains, including finding enough dust sheets to cover everything, 45 nails and screws to be removed and subsequent holes to be Polyfilla’d and sanded. This takes until 3pm approximately. Open a bottle of red and proceed.

Stage 4: Give up on day 1 and begin again the next day. Apply the pink/other lovely colour with gusto, half-believing that because there is a roller in one’s hand, the job is nearly done.  Stand back and admire the small area that has been completed, taking copious pictures and feeling fulfilled.

Stage 4: Being to appreciate the enormity of the task, simultaneously realising that most of the paintwork is not going to be pink.

Stage 5: Contemplate decisions that should have been made pre-stage 1, for example the colour and type of other paints required, which in fact constitute most of the actual paint work.

 Stage 6: Agonise relentlessly over the scheme. Once decided, head off to the shop to purchase remaining supplies. Find the shop in a state of chaos, and closure, due to refurbishment. With anger, buy a further one million tester pots from another reputable paint supplier. Head over to said trusty paint shop, Farrow and Ball, for the remaining paint, tripling the cost of supplies beyond the original budget.

Stage 7: Spend the next 3 days painting continually, cursing the project and shedding a few tears for good measure.

Stage 8: The good bit – put everything in it’s place, and admire! At this juncture, all of Stages 1-7 are forgotten and forgiven.